This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks (This isn't really my best book)
Author: 
Language: 
ASIN: 
B00773SUV4
Rating: 
3.92

A Cyclops on a unicycle juggling three giant eyeballs couldn’t compare to the balanced vision my writing presents. In fact, noted linguist and translation expert Dora J. Arod had these flattering words to say about my writing: “I wouldn’t read Jarod’s writing—not even if he paid me to read it. And he does pay me to read his writing, but that doesn’t mean I do.” Of course the quote continued on, but that was the only part that was praising.


If I told you that my global audience has shot up 100% in the last six months, what would you say? If you were to say, “So you went from one reader to two readers?” you’d be absolutely correct. And after I had congratulated you on your keen guess, I’d thank you for being 50% of my reading base.

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

Seriously delirious, but not at all serious

Dear Mr. Peacock,


I miss your plumage, and I’m flummoxed by your plummeting desire to be desired. You’re like an albino in a cave, lacking spunk, and I’m trying to spelunk deep into your abyss—your...
Great Listener Seeks Mute Women

Great Listener Seeks Mute Women

I didn’t write this piece to attract a potential mate, as the title might lead a reader to believe. That said, I like long walks on the beach, cuddling by the fire, and watching silent movies at full volume and then screaming into...
This is the story my great-grandfather told my father, who then told my grandfather, who then told me about how The Mythical Mr. Boo, Charles Manseur Fizzlebush Grissham III, better known as Mr. Fizzlebush, and Orafoura are all in fact me...

This is the story my great-grandfather told my father, who then told my grandfather, who then told me about how The Mythical Mr. Boo, Charles Manseur Fizzlebush Grissham III, better known as Mr. Fizzlebush...

The Mysterious Adventures of Pauline Bovary (Pauline, Btw #2)

The Mysterious Adventures of Pauline Bovary (Pauline, Btw #2)

With life simply overflowing with pungent melodrama, it s all Pauline and her purple pen can do to record each twist of the plot. First, her best friend splits to become a teen ice...
The Pirate and the Parrot (Literacy Tree: Animal Antics)

The Pirate and the Parrot (Literacy Tree: Animal Antics)

Reading primer in the Animal Antics series by Rigby's Literacy Tree group.
I Love You for You: A Story & Song of Love

I Love You for You: A Story & Song of Love

Our adorable, holiday-themed, rhyming stories are sure to become family favorites. Lovable characters and colorful, engaging illustrations will have kids wanting one of these innovative shaped board books for every...
Why Jews Don't Camp, Plus 24 Other Halarious Stories about Everyday Life

Why Jews Don't Camp, Plus 24 Other Halarious Stories about Everyday Life

"Why Jews Don't Camp, Plus 24 Other Hilarious Stories About EveryDay Life" is a collection of 25 hysterical stories about the world...